Broken

from: 1-14-09

I look around me and what do I see? Immediately I am struck by the silence and fear. I am conscious of “holding on”, a pattern of the attempt to stabilize with the world. That is why I’ve been listening lately to loud Rock and Roll. I go to the gym and work it out while the rockers spit it out. Suits me just fine. Sure, I’m pissed off and I know everyone else is too. Too many lies, broken promises and “bad things happening to good people”. Some days it just gets so hard to see the beauty, but I know it is there. Intellectually, I understand the cycle of life, but emotionally I’m spread pretty thin and one thing is for sure: I’m tired.

In this New Year we have New Promises. I hope they are not broken. I yearn for honest repair and a starting over, even if it is from scratch. I breathe to hear honesty. When the wind howls and the snow falls I see the animals hunting for food and beyond, a beautiful sunset. This is the only sign I have that a regeneration does exist. There is my security.